Tuesday, November 8, 2016

The blessing of being single - Jani Radebaugh

Sometimes when we look back at our lives through the telescope of time, we realize that events have occurred that have led to the best outcomes for us. I heard something today in church, and I can't really even remember what it was exactly, but it led to a train of thought that centered around my - gratitude - for being single for so long in my life. I understand that there are many things I could have learned through a long-term relationship with a strong and supportive companion, and with children, all of us working towards the goal of happiness, success and an eternal life together. I have seen the truth of this at work in the lives of many other people, including my parents, grandparents and siblings, and I am eternally grateful for the presence of my nieces and nephews in my life.

However, I also fully understand the great blessings that have come into my life through having been single all this time. I feel it's important for me to acknowledge that being single while making my way through my extraordinary life has been the path laid out for me by my Heavenly Father. Because I have been single and without children, Ive been much more mobile in the world, and I have seen and experienced things that few other people have. Ive been atop the high plateaus rising behind the Himalayas and to the white shoals tenuously anchored to the tip of the Bahamas with large groups of bright and capable students. I have been in the deep deserts of the world, on sand dunes, next to roiling volcanoes, under a canopy of stars. I have been to the middle of the Antarctic glacier, an utterly alien and forbidden landscape, where few others have ever been. I will set foot on all seven continents in this year alone - for the second time. I feel a strong and undeniable pull to place myself in all of these regions of Earth, as a way to understand other planets,
but also to breathe an anthem of praise to my God for his breathtakingly beautiful creations.

Being single also gives me the opportunity to know many people intimately over the course of my life. Instead of knowing one person deeply, I know many, and I have shared in their dreams and hopes and sorrows. Many of those people have been men - and I feel lucky to have seen their hope, known their capability and felt their love - though don't ask me to
interpret... My role has been that of friend and advisor to many people, and I feel that is in some way a calling. I know I have been blessed for taking it seriously and putting myself in the path of many of his children around the world.

While some may suggest that a life without a spouse and children is against the ideal within our faith, I will assert that my life has been just as it was meant to be. The Lord knew my talents and desires would only be fully realized in the condition of singleness to this point in my life. I think I knew that truth deep in my heart from early on, though I did not have the capability or example to fully acknowledge it was my path. And anyway, we don't always know how our lives will turn out, and it is for us only to be hopeful, open-minded, and brave. Now I am at BYU, surrounded by many students who will never be married, or will experience failed marriages and a new future alone. Already they have come to me to see how, and why, I can be happy single. I hope I am showing them.

8 comments:

  1. That is beautifully said Jani! Thanks for sharing it Katy. You both and many others I know in the 8th ward have got this down so well!

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  3. Thank you, Jani..i Just love this. While I have been one you mentioned that has experienced a failed marriage, I have also found much joy in being single. For one thing, I was able to fulfill a lifelong dream to go to BYU and finish my degree, taking one of my all time favorite classes (planetary geology) during my first semester there...and Ihave been a fan of yours ever since! There is so much in life that can only be done being single, but singles are often so caught up in changing their marital status, that they forget how wonderful life can be along the way and the good that can be accomplished, IF we make it that way! You were a source of inspiration to me as I saw your amazing life as a single woman in the Church. I'm so very grateful for you!

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  4. if You are a planetary scientist, do You not believe that our planet is billions of years old??? and if You do, like almost every geologist, why do You think a god would wait 4.5 billion years before putting people on it? Dont You believe in dinosaurs?? 65 million years ago?? how do You mesh Your beliefs into reality??

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  5. I completely understand your thinking but as a man who finds you extremely excitingly beautiful interesting & intelligent beyond reproach it’s sad to think there would be no long term relationship with just one person. As one travels thru life at mid to later life we realize the comfort in knowing we have that person we can count on lean on & share golden moments with. Only my thoughts you may not agree.

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  6. Life is complicated, for some like in a small branch, there is no one. Factor in being on an island, where the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Just being single is a fact of life. Life in an archipelago with each island different. They are not the same,all part of the same county, being single difficult on all.

    People hide in their shell hoping they are not noticed, seldom do you hear positive stories.

    I think I understand better then most how this feels. I also having just turned 60, understand the need to have a partner, someone you can count on, someone that lives heart wide open. That person can be open to your career and your view of life, this leaving the freedom to continue with your career but be there as your rock.

    I wrote once that the bottom line on caring for someone is to appreciate them for what the are, without resenting them for what they are not.

    It is good to live heart wide open.

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